For a month now, in the early opening hours of the rustic Khan on 61, patrons have been treated to the tender saga of a brood of ducklings as narrated by that great bearer of tales, Willie Campassi. The astute purveyor of all things natural colorfully related his discovery of 15 spotted eggs on the bank of the Sunflower River that winds placidly behind his Delta home. Every morning the faithful gathering of coffee drinkers was given a full accounting as to the number, the sizes, the colors and other pertinent minutia that an average, more civilized eye easily overlooks.
Willie often expressed concern that the mother mallard's torso was insufficient to fully cover the burgeoning treasure in the nest and that her well intentioned maternal labors would most likely end in vain. Fanciful images of Willie squatting over the brood during the night hours to counter Darwin's deficiencies embellished the minds of his hearers as he rambled on.
His fears were allayed however, when last week, to his surprise, 13 of the embryonic wonders broke through to the land of the living. The morning of the annunciation, you'd have thought Willie was the proud father himself, or at least the nursemaid.
The naive ducklings soon wished a return to life within the shell however, when, on their first excursion from the nest to the shores of the Sunflower, they were brutally attacked by the neighbor's tabby (who had also been patiently chronicling their incubation) who came bounding out of the bushes toward the frightened train. Who was more startled, the ducks or the cat, is hard to determine, for suddenly the cat leaped six feet in the air and let out a load "yeowllll!" as the crack of an air rifle echoed across the waters and a tuft of fur settled gently to the ground beside the trembling family. The wily woodsman chuckled as he watched the feline high-tail it under the neighbor's fence.
In an unusual departure from his seasonal routine, Willie curtailed his annual Spring fishing expeditions to stand sentry over this most vulnerable crew. Besides the chagrined cat next door, there were menacing tracks of a crafty raccoon along the river bank as well as lurking turtle heads emerging from the muddy waters. The woodsman found it necessary to oversee their welfare day and night, even to the neglect of his regular duties.
At this point the reader is probably wondering what all this has to do with the Camel Chronicles and the exploits of the notorious "Akabah" Chamoun. This is what distinguishes the Online Register from other monolithic news media. We dare ask the probing questions and uncover the ulterior motives behind what appears insignificant and non consequential.
Is Mr.Campassi simply exhibiting the eccentric aberrations of a senile mind?
No, the man is indeed a shrewd businessman who recognizes opportunity when it knocks. According to the observations of town watchman George Garst, Willie took advantage of a muddled "Akabah" one morning following an evening excursion on a river boat. Now a limberleg man is loose with his tongue, and in a jocular mood, Akabah boasted of a chance encounter with the corporate heads of the Peabody Hotel in Memphis while he was romancing a nickel machine.
It seems word had reached the Peabody corporation about the proposed Camel Race from the parking lot of the Rest Haven Restaurant to the lobby of their hotel in Memphis and that R.J. Reynolds and Philip Morris were launching major advertising campaigns to sponsor the race. These entrepreneurs hoped to capitalize on the event by buying the Rest Haven, thereby owning both the starting and the finishing lines.
At the time of this writing, the Clarksdale Online Register was not able to verify the acquisition, but the evidence is all too clear. Jerry Moorland, a business consultant from Mesa State College in Colorado (and former Clarksdale resident) was seen advising Chafik about the deal in the Restaurant Monday morning. Willie Campassi has been observed leading his ducklings in a march across his back yard about the distance from the Rest Haven kitchen to the curbside flower bed where Chafik is building a small pond. Other proof: this week the price of coffee just shot up to a dollar a cup. Rest Haven, or Peabody? You tell me.
In related news, the political climate in Clarksdale has once again changed by local elections. Incumbent mayor Henry Espy was unseated by Richard Webster in a close race. Political analysts attributed the upset to Espy's association with poultry farmers in Arkansas and his attempts at bring chicken racing to the Delta. Webster, on the other hand, has been a long time supporter of the Camel Confederacy which helped fund his campaign. Likewise, Grady Palmer, Clarksdale's ambassador to Norway, retained his seat as City Commissioner with promises to build a new coliseum in the city to host future camel racing.
